Recipe for disaster: How to attract liability

Would you like to make your life more interesting and less predictable?

Do you sometimes wonder what would happen if you deliberately disobeyed the laws you are required to comply with as an employer?

Do you have an allergic reaction when an employment lawyer tells you the importance of having proper contracts and policies in place?

Do you like taking legal advice only to then not follow it? Accidentally or on purpose?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, this post is for you. If you are an employer who wants to attract liability, it's time to stop doing so unintentionally. You can take deliberate steps to attract liability. Simply follow this easy recipe.

Ingredients

• 0 pages of written contracts/policies
• 1 heaping tablespoon of "ignorance is bliss"
• 2 ounces of disregard for laws
• 3 cups of bad faith

Instructions

First, make sure you have no written contracts of employment. This will ensure that when you dismiss employees, especially the long-term ones, you will have to pay them a substantial amount of severance pursuant to the common law.

Employees are, by default, entitled to reasonable notice of termination at common law. You can rebut the presumption by having enforceable employment contracts in place with valid termination clauses. But why give an employee eight weeks of pay when you can give them 24 months?

Second, forget about written policies. Why draft rules so employees can break them? Simply assume any verbal "policies" will be good enough. If an employee breaches a policy, it will then be harder for you to discipline them. Why not give yourself an uphill battle? Life's too easy as it is already.

Third, if you don't like something an employee did, forget about warning them. Simply act as if everything is fine and dandy. When you feel like it's time to dismiss your employee with cause, because surely they have been engaging in "misconduct", go ahead. Just cause for dismissal has a high threshold, so it is unlikely you will be able to meet it, which in turn means you will likely attract liability.

Fourth, when disciplining or dismissing employees, do it in front of your entire staff. Ridicule them. Make them an example of how not to be an employee at your organization. This way, you can intentionally attract damages for bad faith conduct in the manner of dismissal.

Fifth, when employees request accommodation, reject it out of hand. Don't even consider options for accommodation. Make sure you fail to accommodate them so you can attract liability — it's a form of discrimination.

Sixth, discriminate against employees on the basis of protected grounds under the human rights legislation, such as sex, race, age and disability. You can attract liability and, to sweeten the deal, damage your reputation.

Seventh, another great way to attract liability and damage your reputation is to ignore any complaints of workplace harassment. Do not investigate. Let the toxic work environment remain as is.

Last, but not the least, do not document anything. Leave it up to the wind to record everything. When it comes time to defend yourself, you will have less evidence to support your own position, and thus will likely attract more liability.

Conclusion

You see, it's just that easy. You can be intentional in attracting liability. And you can attract lots of it.

So, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and give your employees a reason to seek damages. Purpose is key to success; make sure you are intentional.