Her head bowed in shame, she reaches for her third piece of tissue paper. Her sobs have subsided, only embarrassed silence remains. Her hair — stuck in places on her face where the tears have smeared the makeup on her cheeks — hides her eyes and her humiliation.
Tina, one of your company’s trusted and valued employees walked into your office less than an hour ago. Tentatively, she scanned your face for the signals that would indicate she could open the Pandora’s box that had dominated her life for the last 10 months. You smiled and offered her a seat and a cup of coffee. She took the seat, declined the coffee and stiffly, like a compressed spring, recounted her story.
Characteristically, Tina is an excellent performer. Her supervisors have all given her tremendous praise for the quality of her work and her efficiency. Six months ago, she was slated for a promotion that would have promised her profit sharing, performance bonuses and advanced training in her field. Then suddenly, her performance began to slip. Her projects were completed late and often poorly executed. She became sullen and moody with co-workers.
Seven months ago, she was married and since returning from her honeymoon has taken almost 13 days off sick, and on many occasions has shown up late for work.
Looking at her employment record, you noted that in the previous two years, she had only been excused once.
But today, you are not worried about her declining performance, nor her tardiness, nor her attitude toward her peers. You are worried about the black eye she is trying to conceal under a large quantity of makeup.
Tina has just disclosed to you that she is an abused wife.
A declining work performance, excessive days off sick, poor attitude, conflicts with others, rudeness to customers, sudden or unexplained absences, physical injuries such as bruises or cuts, or emotional distress may be symptoms of abuse at home. According to a Statistics Canada survey released in 1999, “in Canada seven per cent of people who were married or living in a common-law relationship experienced some type of violence by a partner during the previous five years.”
Domestic violence, a term commonly associated with wife abuse or wife battering is not a woman-only phenomenon. This same study reported that “...men were more likely than women to report being slapped (57 per cent versus 40 per cent), having something thrown at them (56 per cent versus 44 per cent) and being kicked, bit or hit (51 per cent versus 33 per cent).” However, it noted that “...women were more likely than men to be injured by spousal violence.” While this study did not identify homosexual relationships, the rate of spousal violence in same-sex relationships is roughly the same as in heterosexual relationships.
What impact do these numbers have on the economy? According to the Secretary of State (Status of Women, Canada), “Violence against women touches every Canadian community, and has enormous social and economic costs to these communities, and to the country. In Canada alone, the estimated cost of sexual assault, abuse of girls and women in intimate relationships, and sexual assault against children is $4.2 billion. This is simply the economic costs — health care, social services, education and the criminal justice systems.”
As part of the complex fabric that makes up Canadian society, employers need to be aware of this social ill or risk the economic fallout.
Tina, like many other Canadian employees, is married and has a personal life outside the workplace. Often, that personal life spills over into the workplace. Turning to a trusted fellow employee may be the only coping strategy available to some victims of domestic violence but many others, particularly men, tend to suffer their victimization in silence.
What should HR do?
All too often, employers take the “hear no evil, see no evil” approach and leave victims bereft of support, believing that an employee’s personal problems should be left at home. This draconian attitude toward the welfare of victims in the workforce leads to a devaluation of human life and ultimately a demoralized workplace.
As a human resources professional, how do you balance the needs of an employee in crisis with those of the company whose bottom line depends on a motivated workforce?
Begin by developing a workplace strategy to assist employees with domestic violence issues.
Whether the company decides to offer a comprehensive set of tools to assist victims or opts to access support from an outside agency, supporting victims of violence in the workplace will send a clear message to employees that you value them and are prepared to work with them through this traumatic period. Victims of violence are frequently isolated by their abusive partners in their home environments, often leaving the workplace as the only “safe” place to reach out for support.
Create an inclusive language. Much of the data on domestic violence has been gender specific. Words like domestic violence, spousal violence, family violence and wife abuse have been interchangeable. Little has been said of the impact of domestic violence on male victims leaving men to endure their suffering in silence. Current empirical data strongly suggests that the population of male victims may be as high as that of female victims. While police arrest data and health care intake data would suggest otherwise, there is a vast hidden population of male victims that is often ignored or rejected by the mainstream domestic violence work community.
In his article, Relationship Violence by Women: Issues and Implications (1990), Clifton P. Flynn, an associate professor at the University of South Carolina wrote: “...researchers consistently have found that men and women in relationships, both marital and premarital, engage in comparable amounts of violence.”
Regardless of the actual numbers of men and women being abused, developing an inclusive language should be the goal of all those seeking to eliminate this problem. If we ignore the plight of male victims, we become co-conspirators with the abusers.
Confidentiality
It may be tempting to forge ahead with a plan to assist victims, however, many victims may be reluctant to seek the help they need from an employer.
Often, employees fear that by making their situations at home public knowledge they may short-list themselves for terminations. This is a serious obstacle to overcome for any employer wishing to implement a strategy within the workplace. Obviously, it does no good to setup a program for victims if they are too afraid to access it.
Many workplaces that have already created a strategy have used an EAP provider to provide the link between the employee and an outside agency with a mandate to offer professional assistance.
Additionally, employers have set-up workshops and seminars with speakers, making it mandatory for all employees to attend (thereby not singling out any one employee). A few progressive companies have allowed employees to set-up peer support groups and access boardrooms for meetings.
Seek advice
Don’t try to go this alone. Talk to someone knowledgeable about domestic violence. Advocacy groups for victims contain a wealth of resources and information, and many times the victims themselves will offer feedback and guidance.
Steven Easton is the managing director for Wing Span Communications and past-president of the Easton Alliance for the Prevention of Family Violence. He may be contacted at (705) 786-3333.
Tina, one of your company’s trusted and valued employees walked into your office less than an hour ago. Tentatively, she scanned your face for the signals that would indicate she could open the Pandora’s box that had dominated her life for the last 10 months. You smiled and offered her a seat and a cup of coffee. She took the seat, declined the coffee and stiffly, like a compressed spring, recounted her story.
Characteristically, Tina is an excellent performer. Her supervisors have all given her tremendous praise for the quality of her work and her efficiency. Six months ago, she was slated for a promotion that would have promised her profit sharing, performance bonuses and advanced training in her field. Then suddenly, her performance began to slip. Her projects were completed late and often poorly executed. She became sullen and moody with co-workers.
Seven months ago, she was married and since returning from her honeymoon has taken almost 13 days off sick, and on many occasions has shown up late for work.
Looking at her employment record, you noted that in the previous two years, she had only been excused once.
But today, you are not worried about her declining performance, nor her tardiness, nor her attitude toward her peers. You are worried about the black eye she is trying to conceal under a large quantity of makeup.
Tina has just disclosed to you that she is an abused wife.
A declining work performance, excessive days off sick, poor attitude, conflicts with others, rudeness to customers, sudden or unexplained absences, physical injuries such as bruises or cuts, or emotional distress may be symptoms of abuse at home. According to a Statistics Canada survey released in 1999, “in Canada seven per cent of people who were married or living in a common-law relationship experienced some type of violence by a partner during the previous five years.”
Domestic violence, a term commonly associated with wife abuse or wife battering is not a woman-only phenomenon. This same study reported that “...men were more likely than women to report being slapped (57 per cent versus 40 per cent), having something thrown at them (56 per cent versus 44 per cent) and being kicked, bit or hit (51 per cent versus 33 per cent).” However, it noted that “...women were more likely than men to be injured by spousal violence.” While this study did not identify homosexual relationships, the rate of spousal violence in same-sex relationships is roughly the same as in heterosexual relationships.
What impact do these numbers have on the economy? According to the Secretary of State (Status of Women, Canada), “Violence against women touches every Canadian community, and has enormous social and economic costs to these communities, and to the country. In Canada alone, the estimated cost of sexual assault, abuse of girls and women in intimate relationships, and sexual assault against children is $4.2 billion. This is simply the economic costs — health care, social services, education and the criminal justice systems.”
As part of the complex fabric that makes up Canadian society, employers need to be aware of this social ill or risk the economic fallout.
Tina, like many other Canadian employees, is married and has a personal life outside the workplace. Often, that personal life spills over into the workplace. Turning to a trusted fellow employee may be the only coping strategy available to some victims of domestic violence but many others, particularly men, tend to suffer their victimization in silence.
What should HR do?
All too often, employers take the “hear no evil, see no evil” approach and leave victims bereft of support, believing that an employee’s personal problems should be left at home. This draconian attitude toward the welfare of victims in the workforce leads to a devaluation of human life and ultimately a demoralized workplace.
As a human resources professional, how do you balance the needs of an employee in crisis with those of the company whose bottom line depends on a motivated workforce?
Begin by developing a workplace strategy to assist employees with domestic violence issues.
Whether the company decides to offer a comprehensive set of tools to assist victims or opts to access support from an outside agency, supporting victims of violence in the workplace will send a clear message to employees that you value them and are prepared to work with them through this traumatic period. Victims of violence are frequently isolated by their abusive partners in their home environments, often leaving the workplace as the only “safe” place to reach out for support.
Create an inclusive language. Much of the data on domestic violence has been gender specific. Words like domestic violence, spousal violence, family violence and wife abuse have been interchangeable. Little has been said of the impact of domestic violence on male victims leaving men to endure their suffering in silence. Current empirical data strongly suggests that the population of male victims may be as high as that of female victims. While police arrest data and health care intake data would suggest otherwise, there is a vast hidden population of male victims that is often ignored or rejected by the mainstream domestic violence work community.
In his article, Relationship Violence by Women: Issues and Implications (1990), Clifton P. Flynn, an associate professor at the University of South Carolina wrote: “...researchers consistently have found that men and women in relationships, both marital and premarital, engage in comparable amounts of violence.”
Regardless of the actual numbers of men and women being abused, developing an inclusive language should be the goal of all those seeking to eliminate this problem. If we ignore the plight of male victims, we become co-conspirators with the abusers.
Confidentiality
It may be tempting to forge ahead with a plan to assist victims, however, many victims may be reluctant to seek the help they need from an employer.
Often, employees fear that by making their situations at home public knowledge they may short-list themselves for terminations. This is a serious obstacle to overcome for any employer wishing to implement a strategy within the workplace. Obviously, it does no good to setup a program for victims if they are too afraid to access it.
Many workplaces that have already created a strategy have used an EAP provider to provide the link between the employee and an outside agency with a mandate to offer professional assistance.
Additionally, employers have set-up workshops and seminars with speakers, making it mandatory for all employees to attend (thereby not singling out any one employee). A few progressive companies have allowed employees to set-up peer support groups and access boardrooms for meetings.
Seek advice
Don’t try to go this alone. Talk to someone knowledgeable about domestic violence. Advocacy groups for victims contain a wealth of resources and information, and many times the victims themselves will offer feedback and guidance.
Steven Easton is the managing director for Wing Span Communications and past-president of the Easton Alliance for the Prevention of Family Violence. He may be contacted at (705) 786-3333.
